sabi ko, last na un... sabi ko, tama na... sabi ko, ayoko na.... sobra-sobra na nga ung motivation ko eh... sabi ko, titigilan ko na... kasi naman noh, wala namang nangyayari... pinag-pair na nila kami at lahat-lahat, wala pa ring nangyayari... sabi ko, mag-mo-move on na talaga ako... tsaka duh, you --> up there... me--> somewhere... sa dinami-dami mo nga namang pwedeng pagpilian, bakit ako ang pipiliin mo?

pero bakit ganon? wala pa ring nangyayari... kahapon, nung nakita kita, nanginginig pa nga ako... biro mo, candy mag na ung hawak ko nun, nakuha ko pang mag-scan. i never scan a candy mag!!! bakit ganon. kahit anong gawin ko, bumabalik at bumabalik din ako...

ayaw ko namang humanap ng iba... kasi lalo lang lumalala... ganon din nga ang nangyari sa'yo... tignan mo ako ngayon...

haaayyy... kailan ba matatapos to?

i've been thinking... these past few months or so, i felt that i was really being mababaw. i think about my future many times, talk about stuff like how we can mobilize pisay for God but usually, i think of kikay stuff. no offense to kikay people because i am also a self-confessed one but most of the time, when i'm not thinking about school, i think about guys, clothes, socializing and all that jazz.

for the past month and a half or so, i've been taking review classes for the upcoming college entrance tests. yes, i think about how i could excel in it and how i could use it to the best of my advantage but most of the time, when i think about these classes, mostly i think of the guys i would meet, the outfits i would put together, the clothes i still need to buy to put these outfits together. i've become so mababaw, spending my time on putting outfits together in my mind. gah.

also, i've been whining about this unrequited thing non-stop here in my blog when really, it's not that big of a problem. it's not like i'd die if he doesn't like me back. it's not like the sun would stop shining if he doesn't like me back.

the point is, i've been too caught up in a world where the most important thing is to impress people. i've the ignored the bigger world out there outside the world of guys and fashion. if you'd scan through my archives, you probably won't see a post about the government or about the current situation of people in Africa. the closest thing that i've written with a humanitarian cause would probably be yfc and gk.(but then again, i'm not sure if i've written something about gk besides that post about big brother) imagine, that for a girl whose hekasi teacher told her, on their first day of meeting, that he'd be voting for her if ever she runs for presidency in the future.

this is really sad.

p.s. it's also sad that i've bcome really noisy and loud. i've really changed. back in grade school, i was most behaved. i want to be demure once more, really.

okei.. so i'm kikay once more. well, once a kikay will also be a kikay... i'll just try to balance things so i wouldn't feel that i am so mababaw.

anyway, just got from tagaytay and the air was really cold in the morning.

but that's beside the point.

i'm supposed to be talking about hotness here. unadulterated hotness, to be exact, in princess mia's words (or was it lilly's?).

anyway, i was finally able to watch m:i:3 last sunday and it was so fun. it was really thrilling and i almost cried at the end. the sounds in market!market! was really great, too. (ummm... am i right? is sounds singular?)

but anyway, tom cruise was really, really hot. at 43 (he's turning 44 in july, according to imdb.com), he still succeeds in making girls swoon and swagger and drool over him. (ok, i didn't exactly drool). he's like the hottest hollywood actor alive (next to freddie prinze jr of course because, duh, he's my ultimate celebrity crush and no one, take that -- NO ONE, would beat him at that, not even scrunchie, who of course is not a celebrity, haha. what a run-on.)

so... that's just about it actually. i just posted to tell the whole world that tom cruise is so hot but freddie prinze jr is hotter. but i didn't need to tell that, did i?

i was reading time magazine special fashion issue awhile ago and it was about the female movers in fashion. it makes me happy seeing these women make changes in a rather mundane subject but it also makes me sad that there are only quite a few women known for revolutionizing fashion.

think about it. when i think fashion, i usually think females. after all, there are not many men on the ramps. and besides, men are not that interested in how they look in what they wear. but looking deeper, fashion, an industry where we mostly think girls rule, is actually patriarchal. name it: ralph lauren, louis vuitton, salvatore ferragamo, gianni versace, giorgio armani, guccio gucci, calvin klein, cristobal balenciaga, yves saint-laurent marc jacobs(lv), tom ford(gucci and many others), nicolas ghesquiere(balenciaga), oscar de la renta, alexander mcqueen, john galiano, karl lagerfeld(fendi), and i could go on and on and on. they're all guys! and the females only comprise a few: miuccia prada, donatella versace(and that was only after her brother gianni died), donna karan, coco chanel, vera wang, carolina herrera, rei kawakubo, jeanne lanvin, elsa schiaparelli.

----

okey, so that was a so unstructured post. it somewhat became a list of fshion designers... anyway...

Rules:
01. Put numbers in the boxes instead of ticking them off with x's. (example: 1, 2, 3, 4...)
02. Repost as "I have lived through ___ of these 158 things."
03. Tag 5 other people to answer the same survey.

[1] I have read a lot of books.
[ ] I have been on some sort of varsity team.
[ ] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
[ ] I have been (or wanted to go to) to Canada.
[2] I have been (or wanted to go to) to Europe. //always have
[3] I have watched cartoons for hours.
[4] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[ ] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[ ] I have been snowboarding/skiing.
[5] I have played ping pong.
[ ] I swam in the ocean.
[ ] I have been on a whale watch.
[6] I have seen fireworks.
[7] I have seen a shooting star.
[] I have seen a meteor shower.
[] I have almost drowned.
[8] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.
[9] I have listened to one CD over and over and over again.
[ ] I have had stitches.
[ ] I have had frostbite.
[ ] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.
[10] I have stayed up 'til 2 doing homework/projects. // I’m from pisay. ‘nuff said/
[] I currently have a job.
[ ] I have been ice skating.
[ ] I have been roller blading.
[ ] I have fallen flat on my face.
[] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[ ] I have been in a fist fight.
[] I have played video games for more than 3 hours straight.
[11] I have watched the Power Rangers. // I once was a fan, actually. I even have a cd.
[12] I attend Church regularly.
[13] I have played truth or dare.
[ ] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[ ] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[14] I've called someone stupid.
[15] I've been in a verbal argument.
[16] I've cried in school. // lalo na nung 1^st year. almost everyday.
[17] I've played basketball on a team.
[ ] I've played baseball on a team.
[ ] I've played football on a team.
[ ] I've played soccer on a team.
[] I've done cheerleading on a team.
[18] I've played softball on a team.
[19] I've played volleyball on a team.
[ ] I've played tennis on a team.
[ ] I've been on a track or cross country team.
[20] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.
[ ] I've bungee jumped.
[ ] I've climbed a rock wall.
[21] I've lost more than $20. // ung wallet ko recently… which I still grieve for sometimes. (tama ba grammar?)
[22] I've called myself an idiot.
[23] I've called someone else an idiot.
[24] I've cried myself to sleep.
[25] I've had (or have) pets.
[ ] I've owned a spice girls CD.
[26 ] I've owned a Britney Spears CD. //tape lang actually. di pa ganong uso cd nun. okei na kahit cassette tape lang
[ ] I've owned an N*Sync CD.
[27] I've owned a Backstreet Boys CD.
[ ] I've mooned someone.
[ ] I have sworn at someone of authority before.
[] I've been in the newspaper. .
[ ] I've been on TV.
[28 ] I've been (or wanted to go to) to Hawaii. //always have
[29] I've eaten sushi.
[ ] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.
[] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[30] I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[ ] I've watched all of the Rocky movies.
[31] I've watched the 3 Stooges.
[32] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.
[33] I've watched Looney Tunes.
[ ] I've been stuffed into a locker/I have stuffed others into lockers.
[ ] I've been called a geek.
[34] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade. //math 4: 1^st to 3^rd quarter perio
[35] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it. //haha. sa chem1 nung magaling-galing pa ako
[36 ] I've hugged my mom within the past 24 hrs. // sa simbahan kanina
[37] I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours. //dun din
[ ] I've met a celebrity/music artist.
[38] I've written poetry.
[ ] I've been arrested.
[ ] I've been attracted to someone much older than me.
[39 ] I've been tickled till I've cried.
[ ] I've tickled someone else until they cried.
[40] I've had/have siblings.
[41] I've been to a rock concert.
[42] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it. // canon by pachelbel. favorite talaga. .
[43] I've been in a play. // Ramayana… and all the other plays in english
[ ] I've been picked last in gym class.
[ ] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.
[44] I've cried in front of my friends. // cmon. Fatima is such an emotional creature
[] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages
[ ] I've played Halo 2.
[45] I've freaked out over a sports game.
[ ] I've been (or wanted to go to) to Alaska.
[46 ] I've been (or wanted to go to) to China. //nung nakita ko sa blog ni sir martin
[ ] I've been (or wanted to go to) to Spain.
[ 47] I've been (or wanted to go to) to Japan. // many times lalo na nung dun pa nagtratrabaho dad ko
[ ] I've had a fight with someone on AIM.
[49] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face. //nako naman. syempre. may sipaan pa nga eh
[50] I've had serious conversations on any IM. //oo.. especially with nico
[51] I've forgiven someone who has done something wrong to me. // duh. camon.
[52] I've been forgiven.
[53] I've screamed at a scary movie.// ako pa.
[ 54] I've cried at a chick flick. // I am Fatima. (yuck. parang auti ung dating nun)
[55] I've watched a lot of action movies. // oo. mahilig ako sa action movies.
[56] I've screamed at the top of my lungs. // I am Fatima.
[ ] I've been to a rap concert.
[ ] I've been to a hip hop concert.
[ ] I've lived in more than 2 houses. // 2 pa lang
[57] I've driven on the highway/been on the highway.
[58] I've driven more than 40 miles in a day/been in a car that went more than 40 miles in a day.
[59] I've been in a car accident. //katulad nung kay ray2, nothing serious din.

 [ ] I've done drugs.
[60] I've been homesick. //oo. lalo na sa uplb nung exite camp. nasa bus pa nga lang homesick na ko
[61] I've thrown up. // camon. di naman ako abnormal
[ ] I've puked on someone.
[ ] I've been horseback riding. //hanggang pa-picture lang sa baguio.
[ ] I've filled out more than 10 myspace/LJ surveys. //I don’t have accounts in both servers
[62] I've spoken my mind in public.
[63] I've proved someone wrong.
[64] I've been proven wrong by someone.
[ ] I've broken a leg.
[ ] I've broken an arm/fingers.
[] I've fallen off a swing.
[65 ] I've swung on a swing for more than 30 minutes straight // lalo na sa park ng village nina mich. pag nagsesenti kami ni charmy
[66] I've watched Winnie the Pooh movies. // Piglet’s Big Movie is the best.
[ ] I've forgotten my backpack when I've gone to school.
[ ] I've lost my backpack. //almost. nabalik sakin. wala na nga lang ung wallet ko.
[ ] I've come close to dying.
[ ] I've seen someone die. //muntik na, nung nasa er kami ng mom and dad ko. hindi ko lang napansin kasi nagfifill out ako nung forms. pero halos nasa tabi ko lang. naririnig ko lang ung thing na nagtootootoot. namimilipit na kasi sa sakit nanay ko kaya natataranta na ako
[67] I've known someone who has died.
[68 ] I've wanted to be an actor/actress at some point. //nung bata ako. tsaka ngayon. pero only for the clothes and the really smooth skin
[ ] I've done modeling. // sa bahay, pwede?
[69] I've forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings.
[70] I've taken something/someone for granted.
[71] I've realized how good my life is.
[72] I've counted my blessings. // pag nagdadasal ako.
[73] I've made fun of a classmate.
[] I've been asked out by someone and I said no.
[74 ] I've slapped someone in the face. // oo naman. at sa tatlong nasampal ko, kilala niyo naman siguro kung sino ung pinakamemorable. clue: hindi un si arce at si go.
[ ] I've been skateboarding.
[] I've been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend. //none that I know of.
[75] I've lied to someone to their face.
[76 ] I've told a little white lie.
[ ] I've taken a day off from school just so I don't go insane. // you can’t do that in pisay. a day is really precious. and I found no reason in csa to be insane
[ ] I've fainted.
[ ] I've had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is sport or not.
[ ] I've pushed someone into a pool.
[77 ] I've been pushed into a pool. // sir englats has the honor
[ ] I've been (or am) in love. // kung hindi kasama ung mga family, relatives and friends, hindi pa. akala lang ung iba.

i'm tagging nico, mari, krishna, lou, cecile.

after that depresing moment yesterday, i'm happy again. and mind you, i'm really happy. as in giddy happy. grabe. i've never been this happy for days or weeks. weee! haha. feel na feel talaga ni fatima ung kanina. pero it's not because of the enrollment tomorrow. it's just between me, my tito, my sister and my mom. wee talaga!

finally, that review thing's over. so far, i've done good. let's just see this august. the only sad thing about this finished-thing is that i won't probably see ____ anymore. uhhh. pero hindi. dahil magaling ako, makikita ko pa yan. bwahaha.

sige un lang muna. i'm too happy to blog.

i have this really weird and strange and bad habit of stalking my non-pisay "crushes" over the internet. and if you know me, these "crushes" come from just one school - that big school in that traffic-congested avenue to be exact. ahaha. so if you figured that out, which i know you will, you'd realize that for the past three years, all my crushes were in fact from that one school that i've mentioned (except for the almost-crush[well, almost pa lang naman so hindi un counted] that only clarisse knows of. so hindi un ung nung 2nd year)

anyway, back to the stalking thing. i feel that i'm really getting good at it. for example, i discovered that late dude didn't have a prom date. i discovered math dude's middle name and the year he won 3rd place in mtap. and i also discovered both math dude's and sticker guy's birthdays (but now. i don't remember. i won't greet them anyway). see, i'm really good.

okei, so what's the point? i am now offering my services for the low, low price of just ... just kidding.. (grabe i'm so corny) anyway, the point is this is really becoming a habit and i don't like it because i'm just wasting precious time and precious electricity in stalking. and i look like i'm really desperate, which i'm not, really. because if i really was, i would have asked him to the prom which i didn't do by the way. okei. so back to the topic. the real point, actually, of this entry is to just keep me from stalking people again. and to write another entry. and to just confuse you.

okei. so that was just another one of my super many crappy posts. thank you.